The Mystery of the Egg Faced Angels

Merhaba! Greetings from Istanbul! Today is our last day in the city (for now) as tomorrow we set off for Bursa. I decided I liked the summary form that I used last time - my poor memory is needs these outlines. It also provides you guys with the opportunity to skim my blog quickly and pretend you read it (oh I know…I too have done my fair share). So for my likeminded, lazy compadres:
  1. Hagia Sophia: church to mosque to museum to controversial conversation topic, SO BREATHTAKING, uneven circles (grr), and weird egg-faced angels
  2. Hippodrome: headless snakes, street riots, and force fields
  3. Turkish Art Museum: cool -> pretty -> awesome -> decision to learn calligraphy
  4. Lunch: OH MY GOD WHAT AN AWESOME VIEW. Oh food, yeah you’re good too.
  5. Cisterns: underground, medusa, He’s there, the phantom of the operaaaa!
  6. Bazaar: success for Kat, fail for Ellen
  7. ATM: SUCCESS!!! Hooray! Now Ellen can eat again! (just kidding, mom…)

By the way, the summary was a slight peace offering as an apology for what I’m sure will be a long post :/

The Hagia Sophia: the Beautiful, the Breathtaking, and the Uneven
“We’re missing a tile? Oh I know! Let’s replace it with this random floral design that doesn’t match the surrounding picture!”


Wow. That’s really the best word to describe this building. Absolutely amazing. I know, I know, cliché but pictures really can’t do this place justice. You walk in and your jaw drops to the floor. It is HUGE. Built during 532 and 537 AD (only five years!) during the Byzantine Empire, this multidomed building was used as a church. To give you a sense of size, the entire Statue of Liberty could fit in there and the torch still wouldn’t touch the tip of the dome. Yeah, if that doesn’t awe you, it should. Also the medallions in the picture below? 30 feet in diameter.

To give you a sense of its beauty, the Byzantines, after completing this church, stopped building things after this. Really, they just stopped, believing it was impossible to improve upon perfection. It is also said that when the Ottomans conquered Constantinople in 1453, Mehmet II, their fearless leader, rode into the Hagia Sofia and wept from the sheer beauty. Seeing what a marvelous city that he just conquered, he cut off the customary three days of looting after only one day (pissing off many soldiers – I mean I’d probably be pissed off too, but for history’s sake it was a good call. I approve.).  

So instead of droning on and on about its magnificence and then going into every minute detail (ohhhh I am so tempted. Luckily for you, I value my sleep more), here’s a recap of the cool things about the Hagia Sofia:
  • The Ottomans converted it into a mosque in 1453, but instead of destroying the Christian mosaics, they simply covered them with plaster (which ended up preserving them beautifully).
  • The Ottomans left the mosaic of the Virgin Mary at the head of the church intact, because they saw no reason that it should clash with their own beliefs.
  • The marble walls are beautiful, with many types of different stone being used. It is supposed to symbolize the multiculturalness of the Ottoman Empire.
  • At noon, the upper dome (the largest in the world when it was built) looks like it is floating on a ring of light.


Love this building. I really do. But I am not a totally groupie, like I appear to be. Here are the (admittedly nitpicky) things that bothered me about the Hagia Sofia:
  • The staircases curve the wrong way. As a avid lover and studier of castles and war tactics (PWAD major here), I know that the staircases of every fortress-like building (churches and cathedrals included) should curve up to the LEFT and not the right like they do in the Hagia Sofia. This is so the defenders can fight with their right arm and still have the wall protecting their body, while the attacker must expose themselves to use their right arm. And the Hagia Sofia *was* attacked (and conquered). Hmm not smart thinking, fellas.
  • There are these four giant weird feather things (supposedly angels) surrounding the major dome, and only one has a face. And it looks like an egg. Hmm bizarre. This quality of work also appears drastically inferior to the gold mosaics adorning the other areas of the building. And who wants to pray looking at an egg-faced angel?
  • Upon closer inspection of several marble panels, one notices that they are actually plaster with painted circles on them. Come on, folks. If you can’t even replace the marble, at least TRY and make it look real. *I* could’ve painted a better marble slab. (Though I admit, Mitch and I were the only ones to notice these fake slabs…)
  • A beautiful tile map of Mecca (I believe) is on the wall. One of the center tiles is missing. So they replace it with a floral one. Really guys? Couldn’t you find at least a mildly similar one?
  • There is an obvious indent in the major dome that covers the whole building. It looks like someone mis-calculated the curvature when laying the stones and was like “sh*t, well, just connect them, paint them, and no one will notice”. Though again, no one did seem to notice. And those paintings on the ceiling - there were some really shaky lines…

Maybe it was after seeing all the precise perfection of all the other mosques in Istanbul, but these ancient Christians really need to get their act in gear. But *please* bear in mind, that this is an absolutely amazing building. And only someone as an obnoxious of a perfectionist as I am (those lines on the side of my blog header still bother me. Grr.), would notice these details.

The Hippodrome – The Super Bowl of Chariot Racing
“Oh, well you see, the Egyptian obelisk actually came with its own force field”

Ok, I babbled on enough about inadequate designs. Onward and upward! The hippodrome: a large oval “square” in the middle of the city where chariot races used to be held. And apparently, these were the definition of hardcore fans. Bleachers would be split into two sides, and riots would start in the street after races. And in a typical Carolina fashion, when they celebrated, sh*t got burned. Actually these chariot riots caused the first two original Hagia Sophias to burn to the ground before the ruler was like “F that” and built it out of stone. He also started threatening to cut off everyone’s head who rioted until they learned their lesson. Hmmm, imagine having him as a parent. Suddenly, time out doesn’t seem so bad…

Inside the oval part of the Hippodrome are four monuments of significance. The Kaiser fountain (from when the Turks still had a good relationship with Germany), a twisted metal pole that used to have three snake heads on it (war booty – it was originally a shrine to Apollo after the Greeks defeated the Persians), a large column covered in many holes, and an Egyptian obelisk.

It’s the latter I am now going to gripe about. This Egyptian obelisk (below left) is 3500 years old, the oldest thing in Istanbul and brought here as war spoils. In another 500 years, Turkey will have had it longer than the Egyptians did. It’s really cool looking. My issue with it: it’s in perfect condition. The top might be slightly faded and there is a chip here or there, but other than that, it’s PERFECT. Ok, ok, maybe they just preserved it really well. Oh really…? Let’s take a look at the neighboring column (below right) that I describe above, which is about the same height.
    

Neighboring column: incredibly ugly. Why? Because it is riddled with holes, of course. And where did all these holes come from? From all the bullets and other war projectiles that have been fired around over the years. Hmm, and yet this Egyptian obelisk, which has been there hundreds of years before this column, which located maybe 50 feet from the column, is in perfect condition. Huh. No one else seemed concerned by this, but I was deeply disturbed and I quite adamantly expressed my disproval. Only conclusion we could arrive at: invisible force field.

Yeah, I know. Enough whining on my end. Time to move on.

Turkish Art Museum
“Damn Europeans and their Influences”

I’m going to keep this brief. Very cool art. After seeing the calligraphy and woodwork of the later years, I convinced myself that I WILL learn how to do this. I already started planning out my first mother-of-pearl inlayed inscription tablet.

At the end - a beautiful view of the Sultanahmed Mosque (the Blue Mosque from the beginning). Photo Op! Omid looked like a Christmas tree from all the cameras hanging on him. Then we went to lunch back at our favorite place: Doy Doy. We ate on the rooftop and OH MY GOD IT WAS GORGEOUS. On the left, the Sultanahmed was RIGHT THERE. And straight ahead and wrapped around to the right was a beautiful view of the Marmara Sea. Ahhh so beautiful.

The Cistern – Underground Explorations
“I would totally host a huge banquet down here. You know, white table cloth, string quartet..” “Oh, I was thinking more like plotting a rebellion down here.”

We went to the cisterns under the city and it was eerily awesome. Huge columns underground, shallow black water, and pathways leading off into the distance. Got a few cool pics. I was sooo tempted to burst out into a rendition of “Phantom of the Opera”. I knew I should have packed my cape :/


Two of the columns were supported by Medusa heads, taken from a temple in Greece. What was interesting is that they were purposefully placed either upside down or sideways, possibly to ward against their effectiveness? Almost slipped a few times on my way around the pathways and probably would’ve fallen to my death [exaggeration], but luckily my abundant grace helped me to navigate these perilous planks [lie]. Flip flops = bad idea.

Bazaar – quite bizarre [ha. Knee slapper there]
“Oh you speak Spanish? You look Spanish. Or Middle Eastern. And you? You 100% American”

Wandered around the bazaar, partook in some more apple tea at the request of our pashmina friend, and went searching for some gifts for Kat’s friends and family. The guy who sells her earrings is shocked that learned I am, too, am nineteen (almost). Really? Really guys? Do I really look fourteen? Met up with Omid’s friend again, had a good conversation where we discussed, among other things, my obvious American features. Alas. Despite trying my hardest to assimilate.

There was some good news. My debit card is working! Hooray! I no longer have to keep distributing I.O.U. tickets. Ca-chinggg. Thanks Dad for getting that fixed! Also, Omid was incredibly generous and is letting me use his camera so I don’t have to continue buying batteries twice a day. [Shout out to the both of them!]

Ok this is where I leave you. It was an interesting experience finding a dinner place, but we’ll save that for another time. Still need to shower and pack for Bursa and its 2 am. Over and out!
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